Parents Who Can't Resist Smoothing Life's Bumps

It's no fun. You start wondering things, about your abilities, about your self-worth, about how much freedom you really have.

They can't leave you alone. They care what happens to you. They'd be "crushed" if something happened to you, and what adds insult to injury is that they would be. They really do care. It just so happens that said care has numerous side-effects, some of them toxic.

They just want "the very best for you," or so they claim, even as they suck the will to live out of you through their actions. What they really mean is they just want you to have what they think is the very best for you. Usually that turns out to be not just lame, but lame stuffed with pathetic, rolled in embarrassing, and served with an extra-weak weaksauce.

Tell them to back off? Good luck with that. Remember, they "care." There's no point in telling them to stop caring, or even to care less clumsily and cloyingly. Even if you tried, you'd wonder what kind of person you are to push caring folk like that away. So you tolerate it. Sometimes you may even take advantage of it; they insistently offer the help all the time, you might as well do something with it, even if it is simply inconveniencing someone else. If helplessness is a learned act, that temptation is a pop-quiz.

It's hard to maintain a social life with them, too. Some are worse than others, but a few will want to know all about who you see, where you go, what you do... the really intrusive ones may resemble not so much parents as parole officers. They "care," after all, and don't want you doing drugs, loud music, having sex, or anything else that they you fund fun but they find distasteful.

(The "sex" thing is an especially sore point. Trust me on this. Sooner or later they'll start asking when they'll get their grandchildren. Incidentally, the correct response is, "when I learn how to reproduce asexually.")

Heavens, Territan, methinks you've been on the receiving end of chronic caring. When it comes to parenting, I favour benign neglect.

Zen Aid.....When it comes to parenting, I favour benign neglect.

That's wonderful, I did too until I progressed, now I make my crew worry what I'm doing, to keep them out of trouble.

Some parents refuse to allow their kids to suffer the consequences of their mistakes or to experience LIFE

We are seeing this more and more. Eliminating dodgeball, not allowing teachers to use red ink to correct papers because the kids may feel bad, or not keeping score at sporting events. The earlier kids learn that they will lose at some things the better.

I second that. Celestina had a great article on this topic not too long ago. There are people who graduate from college and then crash and burn when they get into the real world because of this stuff.

I'm a dad now of 2 (one almost 3 years old, one 1 year old). I can understand the desire to shelter, but I also see the value in letting your kid take their bumps and bruises when they fall down. This is particularly applicable to my 1 year old right now!

Eliminating dodgeball

No dodgeball, no TAG at some schools now, no contact of any kind in team sports... who can say they are truly alive and haven't been nailed a few times by a rubber ball?!

We're going to raise a nation full of wusses who won't know what around to do when their mama isn't around.

We're going to raise a nation full of wusses who won't know what around to do when their mama isn't around.

We're almost there already. I know a few people who are a couple of years younger than me who are basically helpless. They're not wusses when it comes to defending themselves, but without a crapload of help from their family and friends, they'd pretty much be living on the street just because they didn't know how to look for an apartment or a job on their own.

..nation full of wusses..

..it is said that the meek will one day rule the world..sadly just not in our lifetime,imhho
..thing is teaching when to be a wussie or a wolf..