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After being hit from behind by a motorcycle Sunday evening, a 32-year-old woman was left lying near a crosswalk in Fort Collins, Colorado. Two women witnessed the accident and called police. She had been knocked out from the hit and had a broken and bleeding left arm ,said one of the women on the seen.
Vibrator Found In Unconscious Hit And Run Victim
Seeded on Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:23 PM EDT
Article Source: funtechtalk.com- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (66)
I still want one of those.
- 7 votes
Be careful what you wish for. I hear some of these boy Viners are pretty crazy. Beware of packages arriving in the mail.
- 9 votes
You'd better hurry, Ryan. I think Apple isn't liking it.
Who walks around with a vibrator in place?
- 6 votes
Who walks around with a vibrator in place?
Right? How could she even walk to begin with? That is impressive!!!
- 6 votes
Obviously she was distracted, and that's why she got hit by a car.
Walking around with a vibrator in place is quite dangerous. It should be outlawed.
- 2 votes
"Excuse me, ma'am. Can I see some identification?"
"Well, certainly, officer. What seems to be the oh-oh-oh! problem?"
"Is something wrong, ma'am?"
"Oh, no, officer. Everything is wonderful."
"What are those wires you have hanging from your body, ma'am?"
"These? Oh, oh, oh, these wires sir? They're for my iPod. The headphones, sir."
"What about those, the ones going into your pants?"
"Oh these? Oooo, oooo, baby, oh yeah, right there, oh baby..."
"Ma'am? Are you okay?"
"Oh, yes. Yes! Yes! YES!! YES OFFICER!!! YES!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!"
"Alright ma'am, turn around. Hands up against the wall."
"Ooh, officer! Getting kinky?"
"You're under arrest for the use of orgasm-inducing devices in public, ma'am."
"But officer!"
"Quiet! Spread 'em!"
- 8 votes
Great work Viki.
Now we have the beginnings of a script...
- 3 votes
That was beautiful, Viki. I love it when Newsvine sets the tone for my day.
- 3 votes
I so want to write a story based on this chick getting hit by a car with a vibrator stuck up her hooha.
- 3 votes
I so want to write a story based on this chick getting hit by a car with a vibrator stuck up her hooha.
I, for one, think it must be done.
- 2 votes
Oh, and make sure that when the car picks her off, that the radio is blaring the Beach Boys' Good Vibrations. It's the right thing to do. Also, have you thought about the climax of your story? Just askin.
- 6 votes
Beware of packages arriving in the mail.
In the mail? She might want to beware packages arriving on her doorstep.
Attached to Male Viners.
"Package Delivery!"
- 6 votes
I have several climaxes ideas for climaxes.
The Good Vibrations idea is perfect. That'll be in there for sure.
- 2 votes
It is such an honor to be among such a creative bunch. I'm normally the one that drives my family crazy with bad puns, rhymes, etc. and I can't even keep pace with you three.
- 1 vote
Bad puns? WTF? Must be Viki you're talking about. ;) Bad puns. Hrumph.
- 2 votes
Viki - Just to make it interesting...make sure she's eating a taco or something. ;)
- 4 votes
Bad puns? WTF? Must be Viki you're talking about. ;) Bad puns. Hrumph.
Whoops! I'm usually so careful with words and meaning. The bad puns describe me. I aspire to what you and Viki have come up with. Phew! Okay, is that better?
- 2 votes
Alternately you can have her randomly sitting down petting a rug with one hand, and absentmindedly fingering a box with the other.
- 5 votes
Brash Monkey - You are off the hook.
Eric - I am sickened and delighted at your train of thought.
Viki - Perhaps the young lady could have some sort of naughty disease?
- 2 votes
Yeah, I don't think "absentmindedly" is going to work. It's rarely, in my experience anyway, something that is done absentmindedly.
Feverishly, though. That works.
- 4 votes
Perhaps the young lady could have some sort of naughty disease?
Do you have something specific in mind? I have my own ideas...
- 2 votes
Feverishly?
It's probably just me, but the resulting image in my head makes me think, "ouch." On the other hand, I like "with devotion". Elevates the act to a whole new realm of meaning.
- 2 votes
Unacceptable.Feverishly?
Better.
naughty disease
Jungle fever? Nymphomania? DVD? (^_^)
- 3 votes
Expertly?
Deftly?
Lovingly?
Knowingly?
Carlos Lee?
Longingly?
Inquisitively?
Cheerfully?
Knowingly?
Tenderly?
Joyously?
Bruce Lee?
Wearily?
Noisily?
Defiantly?
Sloppily?
Reluctantly?
Robert E. Lee?
Shyly?
Nervously?
Weakly?
Hungrily?
:)
- 4 votes
Yet another useful function for the iPod.
- 3 votes
#3 - Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:19 AM EDTApple needs a sense of humor though, they just aren't fans, see 2.3
- 2 votes
Yeah. You would think they would be excited as this might increase iPod sales.
- 2 votes
I'd love to see the silhouette ads they come up with for it :)
- 3 votes
Hilarious!
That would be an attention getting commercial to roll out at the SuperBowl Broadcast... It would cause another Janet Jackson halftime over-reaction for sure!!!
Apple could say the iPod comes with an optional attachment, the jog-o-bater.
- 2 votes
#5 - Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:27 PM EDTI can't believe the onlookers thought she would be embarrassed. That is some powerful Kegel muscle action...the woman should be proud as hell!
- 5 votes
#6 - Thu Jun 21, 2007 11:24 PM EDTI don't really see the humor in this, sorry.
Viki.. are you serious when you say you don't know how to 'walk around with a vibrator'? There's more than one kind of vibrators?! Also, you might be confusing a dildo with a vibrator here. There's more to sex toys than the 9" gold member guys love to give to their gals as a Christmas present that ends up either dusty and sun-bleached on a bookshelf or hidden away in a closet box.
There's people who actually USE their toys, believe it or not, America.
I can't believe I need to get so explicit amongst a bunch of girls.
Anyways.. what disturbs me is the lack of decency among the hospital or EMT staff.. I mean.. come on. How the heck did this even make the news, let alone newsvine? "Ewwww.. mommy... look... the lady is using big girl toys!!!'
Hope y'all have a very mature and grown-up day. Feel free to bash me for this. I'm having a crap day anyways.
- 2 votes
#7 - Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:57 AM EDTI didn't say I didn't know how to, angie, just wondering aloud who does it, although that was a facetious question as I do know a couple of women who do. I'm intimately aware of the different kinds of vibrators, and I'm pretty sure most of the women who have commented on this thread are as well, and the men, really.
Here's a link to the OhMiBod vibrator site, so you can see what kind of vibrator we're likely talking about. I didn't look too extensively, but it appears they sell a number of accessories that make it easy to wear one's iPod and one's vibrator easily, and hidden.
It appears from the article that the EMTs pulled the vibrator out of the woman's shorts when attending to her injuries. And, it seems, that that information was gleaned from witnesses rather than the EMT or ER staff.
As far as your "mature and grown-up" comment at the end there, I'm assuming you mean to imply that we're being immature in this thread by making up stories and sharing jokes. And we certainly are, and it's fun. It's a funny story.
I hope your day starts to go better. Join us in our humorous look at a hilarious story, and maybe it'll start going better? ;) Put a little smile on your face? ;)
- 4 votes
Viki.. and indeed my day has progressed rather nicely so far so yes, I am able to see a tiny bit of comedy at the fringes of the story now, however, I simply can't find it even half as hilarious as some of the commentators here. After all, the woman got hit by a car and could have died there by the side of the road.
Has anyone thought about how f*#@$ embarrassed she must be? I bet her entire neighborhood knows about this story, hall, it's out there, nation-wide. I feel sorry for her, I really do.
(And thinking about it, I kinda feel sorry for the EMT, too. The one who.. you know.. did the pulling.) LOL
- 2 votes
At least this article did not mention her real name. The Denver paper did. Personally, I think that was unnecessary.
- 5 votes
Well, seeing as how I cannot find any other source for this story, and it doesn't contain her name, it's probably made up anyway, and I seriously doubt she's being caused any embarrassment as a result of it being "nation-wide."
We're using this silliness to engage in some of our own. We're way more funny than the story itself.
;)
- 4 votes
We're only assuming she was embarrassed. Not all people get embarrassed by something taboo. And in fact, a fine way of dealing with it is to embrace it -- which she might be doing, in a way. Heh-hm. Anyway, my point is that we may be projecting.
Don't look at me though. I blush easily.
- 2 votes
Brash.. I don't know. Does anyone know if she has kids?
You know, it's one thing to confidently walk into a store and buy the thing. It's another thing to proudly demonstrate to your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend whatever how 'the rhythm is gonna get you'.. hehe.
It's a whole different story having you spread out on the concrete, bleeding, halfway unconscious and a handful of bystanders witnessing how an EMT pulls it back out of you.
A woman who can embrace that kind of situation plus the neighborhood talk that comes with it would be my eternal heroine.
I know *I* would move.
- 1 vote
lauhal, I somehow didn't see your comment up there. I did a search on this and found nothing. They actually put the woman's name in the paper? Totally unnecessary.
- 2 votes
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